It's Thanks giving!!! I am thank full for many things like, Hannah's health how she's slowly improving, I am thankful that Hailey hasn't had another seizure and doesn't has cerebral palsy. Im thankful for my best friends ashly and steph who still text me every day even though I just talk about sick babies, but I'm sad that we are to far apart to be spending another thanks giving dinner at stephs.
I'm thankful for my mom and all the support she gives us.. weather it be taking Hailey for the night, helping when were in the hospital or being my second person to bring the girls out to do stuff.
What I am most thankful for is that I have leah. She is the most selfless, caring amazing women I have ever met. I met her two Augusts ago now, right before Hannah come home.. I posted on a mom shop and swap site asking for a cheap change table, responded that she had a free one and my mom went to pick it up(or she dropped it off I can't remember). Then we got to talking and she asked me what I needed and helped as much as she could.. she even came over right before Hannah came home to clean and put stuff away. because we had never lived in our place before it was a little bit of a disaster. Soon after that I posted on another facebook site that I was looking for a daycare and she offered to do it.. She became my daycare respite person . When Hannah goes to the hospital there has to be someone to watch Hailey and my mom can not do it all the time. Leah is so amazing, it doesn't matter what day it is, what time it is shes always available!
She has 5 kids of her own; 1 she adopted when she was 19(pretty sure), she adopted a boy and a girl with FAS, she has her first born son who is now 3 and she just had her first born girl who is 3 months WHILE having 2 young kids in foster care and still helping me with Hailey. She deserves a freaking metal! I probably secretly drive her insane, but I am so greatful for everything she does.
I don't say it enough but thank you leah and bruce, I don't know if I could do it with out you.
Car Shopping! Trying to find a car that makes me feel young while being able to fit; two car seats and an adult in the back seat, and a bob stroller in the trunk. Tested out Honda Accord, Jetta, honda civic and a mazda 3
My Name is Bonnie, I was born in thunder bay ontario nov 12, two years later my little brother was born. life was simple back then
When I was 4 my mom left our dad and moved us all the way from ontraio to beautiful British columbia and my dad followed a year or so later
When I was 5 my mom met our step dad who I will call A. He was apart of our lives for 8-9 years untill, one day in grade 9 I came home early from a volley ball practice to find the house being searched for hiden video camreas. He had placed camreas in the bathroom to video tape me. I had to go to counseling for a few year to deal with what had happen to me. He was charged.. but he got 6 months house arrest and was still allowed to go to work
The next few years where really hard on me but in grade 10 I met my best friend steph and things got a little better. I wasn't really into school and was more of a bad influence so her dad didn't like us to hang out
In grade 11 I got a job at wendys , where I met my other best friend ashly who was a few years older... so she could buy us beer;) as the years went on me and ashly became closer and closer (inseparable almost)
In Grade 12 steph moved up north to be with her boyfriend, 16hours away which made me really sad but I hoped that she would come back
After I graduated high school I felt really lost. So when steph and her boyfriend were buying a house an invited me to come up there and rent a room from them I took them up on their offer.
A few months later I convinced ashly that she should move up there.. and we got an apartment together.
After working a few different jobs I decided that I wanted to move back home and go to hair dressing school.
while I was in school getting really bad ovarian pains and the doctor said I would have to have surgery to remove a felopean tube at august.. it made me a little sad that with out a fallopian tube. I probably couldn't have babies and that made me really sad.
My dad got into a bad car accident while I was in school... he didnt make it, I was devestarted
I moved back up north the day after I finished hairdressing school because I needed to be closer to my besties
I got a job at a salon and life was good
On my dads birthday I went out with some friends to the bar and I got way to drunk. Thats where I met DB. We ended up going home together that night... the next morning I Didnt give him my number was really embarrased of how drunk I was
I went in for surgery and they discovered my tube wasn't damage! I had a golf ball size cyst on my ovary that twisted my tubes around. They removed the cyst and I was relived to hear I could have babies.
DB called my work looking for me three week after we met. We started dating and everything was great he was the sweetest guy ever and I fell completely in love him and his kids. Every thing was good until I got pregnant.. then he started to he controlling and abusive.. I needed help to get out of the relationship.
We found out we were having twins and one was smaller so I had to go to Vancouver for the hospital and he stays up north, which gave me an out in our relationship. My blessing in disguise
I was in vancouver two and a half months waiting for the girls to be born thankfully, I had my besties to talk to on the phone and My mom came to visit
When they were born Hannah weighed 1 lbs 7 oz and Hailey weighed 2lbs 14 oz.
Hailey was in the NICU for 93 days before she came , Hannah stayed in the hospital for 507day(1 and a half years) and came home with a trach. We moved back to my home town to be close to the hospital and to my mom and this is where were at now. :)
You can't always choose what happens in your life but you can choose how you deal with it.
Court is done and finished... for now. I am still in shock of how stressful it was, and we never even made it into a court room.
Court was suppose to be on Tuesday October 1st but on the Thursday before my legal aid lawyer called me to inform me that they wanted to make a deal. The deal was based on his claimed income amount(which is lower then he makes because he has a business and doesn't pay him self the full amount) and what he wanted to pay for back pay(which was not even close to what I was expecting). My lawyer really wanted to take the deal and I felt pressured into taking the deal because of it.
Originally I was told that I would get back pay from the day DB was serves papers back in November 2011, not knowing he had already filed in court. meaning I should have been getting back pay from November 2011- October 2013. My current lawyer informed me on this Thursday that my first lawyer had not put in an application for support and she had done so in July 2012, so she told me I would only qualify for back pay from July 2012 forward. She also said that since I started income assistance September 2012 all the back pay I would get from September 2012 forward would go to the tax payers(which she didn't want to fight for). So since she had already told me untrue information about income assistance in the past( Click here to read the false information) I couldn't trust her this time. I also wasn't convinced I would get any support from Nov 2011-June 2012 because im my affidavit in Dec 2011 it was stated that we were applying for child support and custody.. but i'm not a lawyer so I don't know what that means.
My lawyer wanted to make it so that I got all the back pay and that it didn't go to income assistance so she wanted to word the order so that it was just for the year I wasn't on income assistance. In an ideal world that would be awesome, but would income assistance see through the plan and have a problem with this... would they want to cut me off forever because "I was" intentionally screwing them out of money that they were owed. So stressful and at this point im really starting to feel alone.. no one I know has gone through anything like this and I don't have a partner to tell me how they feel and it was scary.
I don't feel like sharing why I settled but I settled and for a lot less back pay then I wanted to. I got the lawyers to give a little bit of back pay for both years so that if income assistance wants me to give them money I will(and I'll keep you posted how that goes). The amount I settled for is less then a years worth of child support and NONE of my receipts from the extraordinary expenses were even considered in the amount. But hopefully if DB is happy then I wont have to see a court room.
I got them to update the custody/guardianship on the new order but it was like pulling teeth. My lawyer didn't even want to bring up asking for guardianship because she "didn't want to open the can of worms" and put it out there and end up getting less then I already have. But given our story HOW ON EARTH would I not leave with sole guardianship? The only reason I ended up getting sole guardianship is because DB emailed me asking if I accepted his offer so I asked about guardianship and he agreed. But it still wasn't as easy as that. I asked my lawyer to put it on the order and she said since I had sole custody I had sole guardianship.
On our old order where it says I have sole custody right under it, it says guardianship will be decided on another date.. Reading that whos going to give me a passport for them with out DB's signature? The reason she finally listened to me and put it on the order is because I said how I changed their last names so to everyone who sees the old order Im going to have to connect the dots how there last names use to be _____ and now are Harris.
Very stressful time, didn't feel supported or knowledgeable.